01/10/2016

Do we talk about it? Do I have to make an excuse and apologise again? I probably should or I should at least acknowledge the situation. That works too. I am unreliable. Most of things I say I'll do, I don't. You can take this years VEDA as an example. I started by describing it as my attempt at VEDA. I use the word attempt because I know me and I knew how unlikely it was that I could make it past day three. So it makes sense that I haven't posted on here for nearly two months.

I can't say I have a point to make right now so this is just me rambling. But I guess there are a few things I'd like to say. 

Warning: I'm going to talk about being depressed again. Skip to the end if you've heard this one before. I really like writing and making videos (for the short time I did). When I stopped doing that, it was because I wasn't happy in life. I wasn't really anything. And I'm still not. I stopped writing because I didn't have the motivation anymore. Things seem kind of pointless when you're in a depression week/month/ two months/ a year/ generally in life. I can't say that I don't still feel that way but I think I realise now that I like writing and I like making videos. Why would I not be doing those things if I like them? It doesn't actually make sense. 

This must be depressing to read so here's a picture of my dog sleeping
 to lighten the mood.

I'm still scared of all of this. To be honest, I think the number one most discussed topic on here is the fact I'm terrified of being here. Every single time I think about posting I let that stop me. And it will stop me. Maybe today. Maybe next week. Maybe in a year from now. As I mentioned, I'm unreliable. (And I am not good at convincing people to come back here.) 

What's changed today is that I read a comment from someone on my last post (also realised there are two others I haven't responded to and I feel bad about that) which I wasn't expecting. I guess I forget that even when I'm not here, all the things I've said still are. Comments always make me feel better and if we're being honest, I needed that right now. 

Three weeks ago I started college. I like it a lot. But I hate it just as much. There is something about my brain that convinces me I am incapable of lots of things. I don't think I can have friends. It sounds crazy but I don't know how to be someones friend or exist in a group of people. It hurts because that's all I want. And it sounds desperate. And it is. 

This is not what I was expecting to write. I was going to talk about how I love my label maker and Halloween but here we are. I think I should leave it there. Mostly because I should be writing my assignment right now but lets not mention that one again.
This feels like a new chapter. One that is equally unreliable as the last and incredibly mediocre to read but a new one all the same. Thank you if you read this mess of a blog post. I have no idea what I'm doing but we're rolling with it. 

Erin Writes #4 The Fosters

Just when you thought I would stop talking about The Fosters, I come back with a whole post about it. But this isn't going to be me talking about how great the show is or the fact that I ship Jonnor like there's no tomorrow. This is, finally, another Erin Writes post. I made this series when I first started blogging and since then have only written three posts on it. There have been various different reasons as to why I only did three but more recently it was due to my complete lack of inspiration. I went for around two months without writing a single word for any of my books. It didn't bother me too much though until I started watching The Fosters when I realised how long it had been since I had written. 

Erin Writes #3 Writers Block

I can go months without having a single word to write in my books. It can be very annoying, especially if I've set myself a deadline. And I find that if I force myself to write, it is never as good. So today I thought I would share with you some tips to help with writers block. 

The Taming of The Tights Book Review

The Taming of The Tights is the third book in Louise Rennison's Withering Tights series. I read the first two books a while ago and finished this one last week. I would give this book about three stars but I do think that's because I loved the first two so much that it fits in with them. If you haven't read or didn't enjoy Withering Tights, I don't think you will appreciate this book in the same way. (Warning: This review will contain spoilers!)

Erin Writes #2 Inspiration

This month the group I am apart of, the Beau Bloggers, have a theme of inspiration so I thought I would write about the things that inspire me to write. Inspiration is found everywhere in life and one small thing can come from all different places of inspiration making creations extra beautiful.

Erin Writes #1

The one thing in life I wish for most for myself is to write a book and have it published. It's my dream to see a book I wrote on shelves in Waterstones and it sounds strange but I wish that one day Carrie Hope Fletcher (who is Itswaypastmybedtime on YouTube) will read a book of mine.