Now. How do we do this? Through my 3am tears I'll try to explain.
Depression appears in waves. And when the waves arrives it floods. I have no reason to feel the way I do. No logic. On the outside it seems as if I'm doing better than I have in a long time. But I always hide. I don't like to show how I feel because I don't want people to worry. I guess that's why I'm writing this. As a way of actually sharing.
I'm not okay right now. It'll pass but right now I'm not okay. That's why sometimes I leave for a while and I don't post because I can't face it. I worry that I will go away again and not post for months. But so far, I've always come back.
The point of writing this was to tell you that right now I can't find the words to say. There's nothing I want to write about but I don't want to stop posting all together. School is slowly killing me but it'll be over in around ten weeks. Maybe then I'll feel more like I can talk because my mind won't be full of the things that happened that day. So if I'm gone for a few weeks, now you know why and maybe I won't feel so bad about it.
So sorry to hear how you're feeling <3 I know it's hard but I really hope you'll get out of this flood soon. If you ever need to talk to me feel free to <3
ReplyDeleteElise xxx
Thank you so much xxx
DeleteI'm honestly so sorry to hear that you've been feeling like this and I totally understand if you need to take time off. I get you with the whole school thing, but like you said it will be over soon :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I can't wait for it to be over. Thank you x
DeleteHello honey, I'm really sorry you're feeling so ill sweetpea, depression is a horrible illness and I really hope that this wave passes very soon <3 I know school can be a overwhelming and often upsetting place to be, I really struggled at school and was endlessly miserable but like you I counted the days down until I left and kept my head up because I had no choice :) And I know you willbe strong enough to do the same, I'm now at college and so so much happier I couldn't tell you how much better it will be but everyone is so much nicer and more accepting and it's a much better environment :)
ReplyDeletelots of love, Marianne xxx
http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/
Thank you so much. I can't wait to go to college, I think it'll be much better xxx
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